Why I Am A Pickup Man

Ever since my first vehicle, a 1986 Ford Tempo, I have dreamt of owning something far better: a truck. Any person who has an understanding of masculinity (or machismo) knows that trucks are a symbol of manhood. That reason, among others, was my rationale for the goal of truck ownership. My father has had trucks for a significant part of his life, and when he was without a truck, he had an equally manly vehicle like a Jeep or 4x4 yellow Dodge van (formerly owned by the United States Geological Survey) in its place. So, for many years, I pursued my dream of owning my own metallic moving machine.
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If you are familiar with country music (which I generally am not), then you would know of the strange relationship that men have with their pickup trucks. Songs like “Pick Up Man” by Joe Diffie extol pickup trucks and their value in the life of their owners. These things help explain my draw to ownership of a pickup truck. There are also some specific components common to trucks that explain my draw to them:
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Two Seats
Most pickups only have two seats. This is representative of the collective pickup truck owners’ demographics. Two people only, The driver and his wife, or a dog, or a friend, or a comrade, ride in the front of a pick up. The driver needs only one other person to share life with. The one who fills the 'shotgun' seat is the driver’s right hand man (or woman), a trusted confidant whom he would fight to the death for. This is a valuable quality of pickups: true, deep and committed relationships. The crew cab or extended cab is a recent accommodation to those who want to have a crowd legally ride in their pickup with them.
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Uninhibited Space
The bed of a pickup is open for a reason: freedom. Freedom to cram four sofas vertically into the bed while moving is representative of the pickup-owner’s heart: ‘We’ll get the job done, no matter how hard it is.’ Again, a concession has been made for those who want to inhibit liberty: something called a topper.
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Economical Cabs
The interior of a pickup is quite different from the bed in that it appears to be closed in and, shall I say, inhibits freedom. This is not the case. The reason that the cab of the pickup has minimal storage space is because of the bed being so spacious. The owner does not need excess room to store possessions that can be destroyed by the elements. True pickup owners live on what they have (whether wet or cold or rusty), this is parallel to the ideals of ‘living off the land.’ The next time you encounter a pickup truck, look at what is in the bed. Usually there is a wealth of possessions wide open to the elements: this indicates that the truck owner has nothing to hide.
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I could keep going if you wanted me to, but you don’t. You see, this dream of mine has come true. I have been the proud owner of a 1994 Mazda B2300 since December. It is a little pickup, but it still feels manly. I hope that I have helped others to see the value in pickup ownership, and apologize to those I have offended.